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Funny Shit
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These files were collected over years of BBS and internet use. If it's here, I laughed. That's the entire criteria :) Just to be clear: I didn't write these, I just assembled them!
Not sure where to start? Try my Personal favourites or the new stuff.
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Personal Favourites
Obviously I find the whole lot funny. But some in particular stand out for the sheer amount they made me laugh when I found them. If you skipped any of these.... read them now :)
- Cat Bathing as a Martial Art. One of the earliest... I got this off a BBS somewhere.
- If Star Wars was set in Glasgow. Stop shooglin ye wee bastard!!!
- The Inexperienced Curry Taster. This still cracks me up no matter how often I read it. Especially funny for me I guess since I have quite a low threshold for hot curries.
- The little angel. You may notice I don't like Christmas.
- The Captain's Parrot. You have to really imagine the three days...
- Pancake Bunny. I honestly think this image sums up the internet.
- If Santa replied to his letters. Again with the Christmas thing.
- Engineer speak. Rugged.
- Understanding Technicians. If you persist in using something built during the Crimean War... just reminds me of when I worked at a computer shop and we encountered a guy who wrote most of a novel on a truly ancient pre-XT PC and didn't back it up. It was our fault the hard drive failed after being moved, apparently.
- How shit happens... (The Plan). Don't be fooled into thinking this is a joke...!
- the corporate ladder. what more can be said?
- An extremely funny exchange about the Dr Who theme music. I'm not explaining this one.
- Combat Kangaroos. I wish I could have seen their faces.
- Soap just wants to be wanted. Never fuck with a system - people don't know what to do.
- SWAT Team Hand Signals Explained. Sure, they'll tell you it's stuff like "cover me" and "take point"...
- The Unforunate Chocolate Bunnies (definitely my favourite easter joke)
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- An extremely funny story about duelling and religious debate. [Local copy of what used to be another site's file.]
- Blunt Trauma, sequel the "personal diary in hell" of someone with the ultimate Cow-orker. Endorsed by Scott Adams, as if it's not enough that *I* think it's funny :)
- Professor Von Explaino and his general theories about everything. In particular, Splitting The Projatom.
- bash.org | Top Quotes from irc. Serious geek humour. Some are very dodgy but the good ones make up for it. One of my favourites:
<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS - Wilk4: Miscellaneous Humor. Like this page, basically :)
- Eat Liver - funny pic page.
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