navigation: funny shit → flameform
STANDARD BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
I took exception to your recent
___ post to ...........
___ email
___ other
It was (check all that apply):
___ lame.
___ stupid.
___ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
___ what you posted/said has been done before.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
___ your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of ______________________.
(net.personality)
___ your post/mail originated on FidoNet.
___ your post/mail originated on Delphi.
___ your post/mail originated on aol.
___ your post/mail was composed using netcruiser
___ your post/mail originated on Prodigy
___ your post/mail originated on Compuserve
___ your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS,
Domain, or Notesfile.
___ your post contained commercial advertising.
THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please remit immediately to:
Usenet News
Network Security & Standards Patrol
3 Cielo Vista Terrace
Monterey, CA 93940
or your posting privileges will be cancelled.
___ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
___ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
___ you posted a "newgroup" message without Leader Kibo's permission.
___ you posted a "rmgroup" message without Bruce Becker's permission.
___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ It was done clumsily.
___ you have a lame login name.
___ your machine has a stupid name.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ lines
of text.
___ you quoted an article in followup and only added the line "Me, too!!!"
___ you predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".
___ you asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group".
___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
___ you warlorded someone without using the word "wanker".
___ you warlorded someone without crossposting to alt.fan.warlord.
___ you posted someone else's email address and then referred to them as
your "friend".
___ you refered to use of the internet as "surfing"
___ you made used the phrase "information superhighway" in reference to
the internet.
___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.
___ you failed to check the "Followups-To:" line.
___ your .sig is longer than four lines.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ And your newsreader truncated it.
___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):
___ you listed ___ snail mail address(es).
(Mark only if above checked)
___ you listed a nine-digit ZIP code.
___ you listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.
___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
(Mark only if above also)
___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer
failed.
(Mark only if above also)
___ Miserably.
___ you included:
(Mark all that apply)
___ a stupid self-quote.
___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.
___ a Rush Limbaugh joke.
___ a Dan Quayle joke.
___ a reference to Beavis & Butthead.
___ a reference or quote from the band Rush.
___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply):
___ USS Enterprise
___ Australia
(Mark only if above also)
___ and used a cheesy pointer indicating your hometown
___ The Amiga logo
___ Company logo
(Mark only if above also)
___ and you stated that you don't speak for your
employer.
___ Bicycle
___ Bart Simpson
Furthermore:
___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of _______
___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net.
___ You are a loser.
___ You must have spent your entire life in a skinner box to be this
clueless.
___ *plonk*
___ This has been pointed out to you before.
___ It is recommended that you:
(Mark all that apply)
___ stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up.
___ find a volcano and throw yourself in.
___ get a gun and shoot yourself.
___ stop reading Usenet news and get a life.
___ stop sending email and get a life.
___ consume excrement.
___ consume excrement and thus expire.