funny shit blog

Sleep Talkin' Man, transcripts of a 'mild mannered English husband' who talks crazy shit in his sleep:

"Forks. Forks to the left. To the left! No, greasy mugs go there. You really have everything ass-fucked backwards, don't you."

"Why don't you make your mouth useful. Say goodbye."

"You've got to save the curtains! Save the curtains... They hold so many secrets."

"Please bounce on my bed with me. Bounce with me. Because there's nothing more romantic than bouncing..... Boing."

"Hey, I've got a great idea. You fuck off out of my life forever. Perfect!"

"Bring it on, King Kong. I'll kick your monkey ass right back to the jungle."

"Imagine waking up next to you every day... One chunder-bucket moment after another."

"Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you."