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Men's Room Behaviour

You may expect to find one or more of the following behaviors in a men's room at any time.

EXCITABLE: shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: joins friends in a piss whether he has to or not.
CROSSEYED: looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is hung.
TIMID: cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back later.
INDIFFERENT: all urinals being used, pisses in sink. Depending on the venue, may be met with complaint of "Oh maaaan!" from others.
CLEVER: no hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on the floor.
WORRIED: not sure where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
PLAYFUL: plays stream up. down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
ABSENT MINDED: opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
CHILDISH: pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
SNEAK: farts silently when pissing, acts very innocent, knows man at next stall will get blamed.
PATIENT: stands very close for a long time while waiting, reads with free hand.
DESPERATE: waits in long line, legs crossed, pisses in pants.
TOUGH: bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
EFFICIENT: wait til he has to shit, then does both.
FAT: backs up and takes a blind shot urinal, pisses in shoe.
LITTLE: Stands on box.
DRUNK: holds left thumb in right hand. Pisses in pants.
DISGRUNTLED: stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
CONCEITED: holds two-inch dick like a baseball bat.