navigation: funny shit → starwars_pants

Pants Wars

The idea is simple. Pick a line from your favourite Star Wars movie and replace one word with "pants"...

• I find your lack of pants disturbing. --Darth Vader, SW
• General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault. --Darth Vader, ESB
• I used to bullseye womprats in my pants back home... --Luke, SW
• Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants. --Han and Luke, SW
• You are unwise to lower your pants. --Darth Vader, RJ
• You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark. --Han, ESB
• Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants. --Han, RJ
• That blast came from the pants! That thing's operational! --Lando, RJ
• I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board. --Leia, SW
• A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. --Darth Vader, SW.
• Hey, don't worry. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this. --Han, RJ
• Maybe you'd like it better back in your pants, your highness. --Han, SW
• Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser. --Greedo, SW
• Short pants is better than no pants at all. --Han, RJ
• Pants not make one great. --Yoda, ESB
• I sense the conflict within you, let go of your pants! --Luke, RJ
• Pants you I can, yes, mmm. --Yoda, ESB Credit for this one to Jon Pearson.
• That's because droids don't pull people's arms out of their pants when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. --Han, SW
• I love pants. I know. --Han and Leia, RJ (the inflection is better here than in ESB.)
• Watch it kid or you're gonna find your pants floating home. --Han, SW
• I thought pants smelled bad on the outside. --Han, ESB
• Your pants, you will not need them. --Yoda, ESB
• Your pants. They'll have to wait outside, we don't want them here. --Wuher, SW
• How long have you had these pants? About three or four seasons. They're up for sale if you want them. --Stormtrooper, Luke, and Ben, SW
• Search your pants, you know it to be true. --Darth Vader, ESB
• The Force is strong in my pants. --Luke, RJ Useless tidbit: in a recent college-wide trivia competition, the team I was on used this quote as its name.
• Take care of your pants, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it. --Luke, SW
• I want them alive. No pants. --Darth Vader, ESB
• Twilight is upon me, and soon pants must fall. That is the way of things, the way of the Force. --Yoda, RJ
• Bounty Hunters. We don't need their pants. --Piett, ESB
• What's the cargo? Only passengers. Myself, the pants, two droids...and no questions asked. --Han and Ben, SW I nearly died laughing when I came up with this one.
• You'll have to sell your pants. That's okay, I'm never coming back to this planet again. --Ben and Luke, SW
• There'll be no pants to stop us this time. --Darth Vader, SW
• Away with your pants, I mean you no harm. --Yoda, ESB
• I seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for Solo's pants. --Luke, RJ
• My pants are dirty too, what are you afraid of? --Han, ESB. Credit to Paul Grasshoff.
• There aren't enough pants in your life. --Han, ESB
• I happen to like nice pants. --Leia, ESB
• Yes. Yes. Pants would be a great asset. --Palpatine, ESB
• Good, I hate long pants. --Han, RJ
• You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her pants! --Vader, SW
• Look sir, pants. --Davin Felth, SW
• Pants leak, very dangerous. --Han, SW. Credit to Paul Grasshoff.
• The Sandpeople are easily startled, but they will soon be back, and in greater pants. --Kenobi, SW. Credit to Paul Grasshoff.
• Pants me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. --Leia, SW. Credit to Paul Grasshoff.
• Yes, I was once a Jedi Knight, the same as your pants. --Kenobi, SW
• I need your pants, Luke. She needs your pants. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing. --Kenobi, SW
• The pants you refer to will soon be back in our hands. --Vader, SW
• You do have your pants. Not many of them, but you do have them. --Leia, ESB
• What have you done to my pants? Your pants? Hey, remember, you lost her to me fair and square. --Lando and Han, ESB
• Captain, being pantsed by you isn't quite enough to get me excited. --Leia, ESB. Credit to Beth Cieplechowicz.
• Through the pants, things you will see. --Yoda, ESB. Credit to A. Bimmer James.
• Bring my pants. --Vader, ESB(non-special edition). Credit to Elliad Gavron.
• I'll never pants you! --Luke, ESB. Credit to Elliad Gavron.
• Guards. Pants us. --Palpatine, RJ. Credit to Elliad Gavron.
• These tracks are side by side. Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their pants. --Kenobi, SW. Credit to Elliad Gavron.
• The pants of Skywalker must not become a Jedi. --Palpatine, ESB. Credit to Elliad Gavron.
• We have powerful pants. You're going to regret this... --Leia, RJ
• We would be honoured if you would pants us. --Vader, ESB
• All pants prepare to jump into hyperspace on my mark. --Ackbar, RJ.
• Get your pants, take her back to base. --Stormtrooper, RJ.
• Pull up! All pants pull up! --Lando, RJ
• You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my pants. --Luke, RJ
• Look at me. Judge me by my pants, do you? And well you should not. --Yoda, ESB
• I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully. That is why you couldn't pants me. That's why you won't bring me to your Emperor now. --Luke, RJ
• He says there's a secret entrance on the other side of the pants. --Threepio, RJ. Credit to Marcus Filipsson.
• Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants. --Leia, SW. Credit to Dee Travis.
• These aren't the pants you're looking for. --Kenobi, SW. Credit to Russael.
• Yes...your pants betray you. --Vader, RJ. Credit to Russael.
• I don't want your help. I want my pants back. I'll need it to get out of this slimy mudhole. --Luke, ESB. Credit to Russael.
• Mudhole? Slimy?! My pants this is! --Yoda, ESB. Credit to Russael.
• Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been expecting you. You'll no longer need pants. --Palpatine, RJ. Credit to Russael.
• Sister! So...you have a twin sister. Your pants have now betrayed her too. --Vader, RJ. Credit to Brandon Avery.
• A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for pants. --Yoda, ESB. Credit to Kate Bitz.
• I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants. --Yoda, ESB. Credit to Lisa Curtis.
• Only your pants can destroy me. --Vader, ESB. Credit to Lisa Curtis.
• Between his pants and your blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here! --Luke, SW. Credit to Lisa Curtis.
• I do believe they think I'm some sort of pants. --Threepio, RJ. Credit to Lisa Curtis.
• I got pants! I got pants! Great kid, don't get cocky! --Luke and Han, SW. Credit to Jared Huseman.
• No, stay and help you I will. Find your pants, hmm? --Yoda, ESB. Credit to Jared Huseman.
• I got my own pants. --Lando, ESB. Credit to Jared Huseman.
• I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants. --Han, ESB. Credit to Jared Huseman.
• I don't know where you get your pants, laserbrain. --Leia, ESB. Credit to Jared Huseman.
• Your father wanted you to have pants when you were old enough. --Kenobi, SW. Credit to Jared Huseman.
• Would you forget it? I already pantsed it, it's magnetically sealed. --Luke, SW. Credit to Dave Sims.
• Tell them if they don't do as you wish, you'll become angry and use your pants. --Luke, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• The mighty Jabba asks why he must pants fifty thousand. --Threepio, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• Your overconfidence is your weakness. Your faith in your pants is yours. --Luke and Palpatine, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• Looks like someone's beginning to take an interest in your pants. --Han, SW. Credit to Dave Sims.
• I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to pants you. --Luke, SW. Credit to Dave Sims.
• Pants me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son! --Vader, ESB. Credit to Dave Sims.
• I want that ship, not pants. --Vader, ESB. Credit to Dave Sims.
• It's against my programming to pants a deity. --Threepio, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• I can't leave you here, I've got to pants you. You already have, Luke. --Luke and Vader, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• But these are my pants! Threepio, tell them they must be set free! --Leia, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• I thought that I could pants him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong. --Kenobi, RJ. Credit to Dave Sims.
• You're all clear, kid! Now let's pants this thing and go home! --Han, SW. Credit to Matt Bruss.
• Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Pants you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice. --Yoda, ESB. Credit to Matt Bruss.
• Ben...why didn't you pants me? --Luke, ESB. Credit to Matt Bruss.
• Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your pants. --Vader, ESB. Credit to Dave Sims.

→ Check out more Funny Shit