Funny Shit (home) → genderwar → Drinks as personality pointers
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks (and how you approach them if you're interested in them). Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years... Alzheimer's
and term limits be damned.
Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has
no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...
Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk... and
naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut.
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn't give two shits about anything but getting laid.
Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.
White Zin: He's gay.